Friday's Robot

Oh fishy, fishy, where could that fishy beee! First to tell me where that quote came from wins a tin of Vienna sausages from me. This weeks entry is an underwater robot of no particular use at all. Usually I'm into technology that can actually be used for something, but this robot is so damned hypnotic.



They should now build a robotic shark and have it terrorize the fish, and then a killer whale to get the shark. Ultimately this will lead to the development of a 300 foot tall robotic pope with laser beam eyes to destroy our cities.

Hundreds I tell you!

Old to some, new to me, I've just found the Hundreds of Proofs of God’s Existence page on Godless geeks. Some of these are priceless:

14. ARGUMENT FROM INTELLIGENCE
(1) Look, there's really no point in me trying to explain the whole thing to you stupid atheists; it's too complicated for you to understand. God exists whether you like it or not.
(2) Therefore, God exists.

15. ARGUMENT FROM UNINTELLIGENCE
(1) Okay, I don't pretend to be as intelligent as you guys — you're obviously very well read. But I read the Bible, and nothing you say can convince me that God does not exist. I feel him in my heart, and you can feel him too, if you'll just ask him into your life. "For God so loved the world that he sent his only begotten son into the world, that whosoever believes in him shall not perish from the earth." John 3:16.
(2) Therefore, God exists.

17. ARGUMENT FROM INTIMIDATION
(1) See this bonfire?
(2) Therefore, God exists.

20. ARGUMENT FROM ABSURDITY
(1) Maranathra!
(2) Therefore, God exists.

21. ARGUMENT FROM ECONOMY
(1) God exists, you bastards!
(2) Therefore, God exists.

22. BOATWRIGHT'S ARGUMENT
(1) Ha ha ha.
(2) Therefore, God exists.

23. DORE'S ARGUMENT
(1) I forgot to take my meds.
(2) Therefore, I AM CHRIST!!
(3) Therefore, God exists.

24. ARGUMENT FROM GUITAR MASTERY
(1) Eric Clapton is God.
(2) Therefore, God exists.

26. ARGUMENT FROM INCOMPREHENSIBILITY
(1) Flabble glurk zoom boink blubba snurgleschnortz ping!
(2) No one has ever refuted (1).
(3) Therefore, God exists.

27. ARGUMENT FROM AMERICAN EVANGELISM
(1) Telling people that God exists makes me filthy rich.
(2) Therefore, God exists.

99. ARGUMENT FROM OFFENSE
(1) God exists.
(2) [Atheist makes counterarguments.]
(3) You know what? I am offended.
(4) Therefore, God exists.

104. ARGUMENT FROM FORMATTING
(1) Behold, foolish atheists, I present you with an incontrovertible proof of the existence of God.
(2) [Christian posts 10,000 word document without a single paragraph break.]
(3) [Atheist's eyes implode.]
(4) I see that nobody can refute (2).
(5) Therefore, God exists.

119. ARGUMENT FROM PIG'S TEETH
(1) Some scientists once thought a tooth was from an "ape-man."
(2) Later scientists discovered it was a pig's tooth.
(3) Therefore, God exists.

135. ARGUMENT FROM CHARITY
(1) Atheists don’t build hospitals.
(2) [Atheist points out Bill Gates and Ted Turner, who donate billions of dollars to charity.]
(3) Yes, but do they build hospitals?
(4) Therefore, God exists.

211. ARGUMENT FROM WOW
(1) When I look into the sky and see all the pretty stars, all those galaxies...
(2) Wow.
(3) Therefore, God exists.

223. ARGUMENT FROM ECSTASY (used by a number of saints)
(1) I woke up last night with a feeling of indescribable pleasure and joy.
(2) It couldn't have been sexual; I'm holy and never have thoughts like those.
(3) So the ecstasy must have come from God.
(4) Therefore, God exists.

252. ARGUMENT FROM CLEVER USE OF VOCABULARY
(1) Many atheists will not be convinced by an argument with "Therefore, God exists" as its conclusion.
(2) Consequently, God exists.

303. EXISTENTIAL ARGUMENT FROM EVIL / ARGUMENT FROM POWER / ARGUMENT FROM GUNS (I)
(1) I have a gun.
(2) [Atheist: "Ouch!!!"]
(3) Therefore, God exists.

Pot Heads Rejoice

I'm late to this news, but screw you all. Apparently pot improves memory and stimulates the growth of new brain cells.

Scientists from Ohio State University report that marijuana, contrary to the conventional wisdom, may help ward off Alzheimer's and keep recall sharp. Their findings, released today at the Society for Neuroscience meeting in Washington D.C.: chemical components of marijuana reduce inflammation and stimulate the production of new brain cells, thereby enhancing memory.

I've been experimenting with the various forms of 'pot' I have lying around my house. I put our big spaghetti pot on my head and immediately felt rejuvenated. After 5 minutes through I got a sore point on my forehead and collapsed through reduced blood-flow. The colander was a completely different experience. Not only do the holes let in air but I'm sure they screen out those pesky government mind control signals that make us all secular. Within minutes I started singing hymns without the dirty words! The microwave turntable plate fell off my head; luckily it bounced off our new puppy Dexter, who suddenly appeared to be really tired and had a nice nap on the kitchen floor. I tried our trashcan too, but after I took it off all I could smell was old man's willy and peas for 30 minutes.

That's when my wife told me that pot in America actually means marijuana. So I skinned up the last of our purple haze x5 bud and started blogging. What the hell was I talking about again? Oh yeah, memory and brain cell growth. Shortly after my college years I should have had a brain the size of small bicycling monkey busting from my head. Perhaps my alcoholic content in those early years killed off my newly formed neurons.

Anyway, hooray for new research into the medicinal effects of marijuana. I just love how these discoveries piss off our right wing fascists for jebus friends, with their hysterical fear of anything drug related.

What's beer called in the US then? Box?

Friday's Robot

This next freaky entry is from Cornell University. I suspect it's actually made from articulated Swiss cheese.



I think we should have a lot more robots made from cheese. I mean, if they go mad and decide to take over the world all we need to get rid of them is a box of crackers.

What's really amazing about this robot is that each segment is entirely independent. Each 'cube' appears to contain one joint and associated motor. I assume one of the biggest problems is to keep the thing powered through the connectors; you'll see they're also embedded in the floor. The trick is keep all pieces connected so they have power to move, connect and disconnect. Don't even get me started on the algorithm required to animate these cheese towers.

Friday's Robot

Here's a video of perhaps the coolest robot I've seen in a long time. Imperial Walkers anyone? Check out the part where the robot is walking on ice and the guy kicks it. Really smart programming.