Saturday, November 29, 2008

Pot Heads Rejoice

I'm late to this news, but screw you all. Apparently pot improves memory and stimulates the growth of new brain cells.
Scientists from Ohio State University report that marijuana, contrary to the conventional wisdom, may help ward off Alzheimer's and keep recall sharp. Their findings, released today at the Society for Neuroscience meeting in Washington D.C.: chemical components of marijuana reduce inflammation and stimulate the production of new brain cells, thereby enhancing memory.
I've been experimenting with the various forms of 'pot' I have lying around my house. I put our big spaghetti pot on my head and immediately felt rejuvenated. After 5 minutes through I got a sore point on my forehead and collapsed through reduced blood-flow. The colander was a completely different experience. Not only do the holes let in air but I'm sure they screen out those pesky government mind control signals that make us all secular. Within minutes I started singing hymns without the dirty words! The microwave turntable plate fell off my head; luckily it bounced off our new puppy Dexter, who suddenly appeared to be really tired and had a nice nap on the kitchen floor. I tried our trashcan too, but after I took it off all I could smell was old man's willy and peas for 30 minutes.

That's when my wife told me that pot in America actually means marijuana. So I skinned up the last of our purple haze x5 bud and started blogging. What the hell was I talking about again? Oh yeah, memory and brain cell growth. Shortly after my college years I should have had a brain the size of small bicycling monkey busting from my head. Perhaps my alcoholic content in those early years killed off my newly formed neurons.

Anyway, hooray for new research into the medicinal effects of marijuana. I just love how these discoveries piss off our right wing fascists for jebus friends, with their hysterical fear of anything drug related.

What's beer called in the US then? Box?

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